I must know you well and have had significant positive experiences with you. You must have shown me that you have a mature, responsible, and enthusiastic attitude toward learning. What does this all mean?
If you have not demonstrated these things to me, I probably won't be able to say much more in my recommendation than what grade you got in my class(es). In other words, my recommendation won't be very strong because I won't have much to say, and you are probably better off finding someone else to recommend you.
Please provide me with a brief description of the types of graduate programs, jobs, or whatever it is that you are applying for. At the very least, I need to know the exact name of the program (e.g. Experimental, Social Psychology, School Counseling, etc.) for each place you are applying and the address to which the letter will be sent (I include this at the top of my letter, so please track it down if it isn't on any of your forms).
Provide me with as much detailed information about yourself as possible. The more information I have, the better your recommendation will be. Below are some things you should consider giving me (all in writing, don't just tell me because I may not remember it).
If there are forms that I need to fill out, give them to me. You must fill out as much information as possible on these forms before giving them to me. This includes information about ME. Any information you need to fill out should be typed (not hand-written, which looks messy and undermines your chances of acceptance). Below is my information, for you to type on your forms:
My name is: Dr. Wendy Braje
My position/title is: Associate Professor of Psychology
My address is: Department of Psychology, Plattsburgh State University, 101 Broad Street, Plattsburgh, NY 12901
My phone number is (518) 564-3383
My email address is brajewl@plattsburgh.edu
If you don't fill out this information, then I have to do it, which is mildly irritating, and you don't want someone to be mildly irritated while writing you a recommendation!
On the recommendation form (if there is one), you should agree to "waive your right to access" the recommendation, which means that your recommendation will remain confidential and you will not be able to look at it. This is not because I am afraid of you seeing my letter, but because non-confidential letters are often seen as weaker than confidential ones by the admissions boards, and I want you to appear as strong as possible.
Provide me with all necessary envelopes, stamped and addressed to the appropriate places. If I am supposed to return the recommendation to you in an envelope, be sure to indicate on the envelope the name of the school/job/etc. that the recommendation is for, so that you know what to do with it when you get it back. Please make it clear to me which forms I should mail directly and which ones go back to you.
For each school/job, indicate when I need to have it done by (e.g. stick a post-it on the form). Please give me at least 2 weeks notice.
If you are applying for more than one school/job, please try to give me all of your requests at the same time. I am happy to write several recommendations, and I prefer to work on them all at once.
Finally, come back and let me know how it all turned out! Where did you get accepted? Where are you going?